Deadly dating stories

Before telling you about the mistakes expats often make when dating a Dutch man, here’s a story about an incident in Amsterdam.A female friend and sometimes running partner of the Shallow Man was having a massage in a place in the Rivierenbuurt.If you, as an expat woman, turn up for your date, as is normal in most countries, in a nice outfit, stylishly cut shoes, makeup and styled hair, your Dutch date will have a minor heart attack.He is likely to ask you what that stuff is on your face, and if you are planning to attend a wedding after the date.If you are hoping for a happy ending that night, pay the entire bill, he’ll be so overjoyed he might even propose marriage.Due to the Dutchman’s love of money, they will not be impressed if during your date that you order bottled water or even worse San Pellegrino, which is the Ferrari of bottled water and is not cheap.Dutch women are, in the opinion of the shallow man, the most predatory women on planet earth.

My advice will no doubt upset some, and if I am captured by a posse of angry Dutch men with lion king hairstyles and am forced to sit through hours of music from Tiesto, Fedde La Grand and Armin van Buuren, I’ll look into the eyes of my enemies and shout, sodemieter op, jullie domme kakkers! Dutch men, are probably the luckiest of their species on planet earth.

This, in turn, has led to the Dutch male being one of the laziest when it comes to chasing women, as generally, they don’t really need to.

The antelope calls the shots and the Lion simply needs to drink his biertjes and wait to be hunted.

If you really want to make him feel comfortable, wash your hair prior to the date and don’t bother drying it, this drives the Dutch male crazy with passion.

Would like to thank all of the ladies that were kind enough to share your tales of dating woe with me.

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Deadly dating stories

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